It's been 2 long years since Kortnie was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I'm not in a happy feely kind of place about it, not like I was last year on the 1 year D-Aversary. I'm kind of pissed off, I'm kind of like, "why me, why her, why us". Diabetes SUCKS! It's a fickel nasty Bitch.
Kortnie is okay with it, I guess, she just wants to eat a bunch of junkfood, I think last year we had Pizza and Root Beer Floats. I told her yesterday that Diabetes Sucks and she said, "no", I said, "well is it fun, do you like having it?" she says "no, I guess it kind of sucks". I feel like I put those negative feelings into her head and now I feel bad for that too.
My son had these scrapes on his back last week, right along the backbone, like scabs. I pointed them out to my husband and told him that Kortnie used to get those too, bruises and scabs along her backbone and I wondered out loud if Graham would develop Diabetes too. (I'm pretty sure these scabs are from them being so skinny and the way the bones rub on their skin, but since Kortnie was dx'd her bruises and cuts have come way down, I always wonder what the correlation between pre-diabetes and her bruises was). Anyways, my son heard us talking, the next day he told me (he's 4) "I know that little boys don't get blood sugar", "I know that little boys don't have to do site changes". Well, son, sorry to say that yep, little boys do get blood sugar and site changes. Great....Now I've put some negative thougts into his head too.
We did the JDRF walk this past weekend, November 5th. It was a great time, the girls and I went by ourselves. They really enjoyed themselves, Kortnie scored some cool pump and meter skins. She was high off the walk excitement when I put those negative Diabetes Sucks thoughts into her head. I had a good time too, but I did walk around crying most of the time, people were looking at me with symapthy in their eyes, but I think they probably mostly understood my tears. More on the walk later.
I think I'm really going to try to post more often, I have lots to say, lots that I think about and I love reading everybody elses' posts. I'm trying to comment more often, but I never think I say what I want to say the right way, I'm not an eloquent writer. I feel like I'm more just a string of babble. Well, I just wanted to aknowledge 2 YEARS here in the DOC. Even though I'm kind of pissed and sad or whatever, I want you DOC'ers to know I'm thankful for all of you.