Kortnie at the 2011 JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes, Tempe Town Lake, Tempe, AZ

Friday, January 25, 2013

D-Mom Fail, Oh well, there's always next week!

We had a fail last night.  Sad episode for sure. 
Here is how it went.
Kork is watching a little TV before Girl Scouts, I was on my computer finishing up the taxes.
"Beep, Beep"
Me- "Is that your pump?"
Her "yeah"
"Well, what's it beeping about?"
"Low Cartridge, less than 10U"
this means that she is running out of insulin in her pump, which means that its time for a site change because I usually put 150-175 units in her pump each time and that lasts us 3-4 days, so when the pump runs out, its time to fill it up and to change the site.  You don't have to do both at the same time, but doing them at the same time works for us.
"Okay, after dinner, lets remember to change your site and cartridge"
15 minutes later we are heading out the door to Girl Scouts.  I left my older daughter at home with 2 of my daycare kids who she helps out with quite often and its a way for her to earn some money.  I took 2 of my other daycare kids and my 5 year old son with us.  It was my week to help out with the troop, also I am cookie mom this year, so I had to go get the girls cookie orders so I could log them on the computer and order their cookies for them.  Got to the church where we have scouts, put my son and the 2 daycare kids in the playroom, then I went to the scout meeting with Kortnie.  While the girls were working on their craft I tallied up the cookie orders.  The mom of my 2 daycare kids showed up to pick up her kids, I talked with her a minute, then a GS mom showed up and asked me about Kortnie and K's plans for a sleepover the next night.  So we talked about that and got the details hammered out.  I packed up Kortnie and her brother in the car, headed home to get Stasia, then we went to the grocery store and picked out some soup to go with our grilled cheese sandwiches.  Back home, it's now about 5:30pm.  I told the kids a few chores they needed to finish up and I started making dinner, grilled cheese and chicken noodle soup.  Got the kids eating, (gave Kortnie insulin and everything) a load of laundry in the dryer, and hubby walks in about 6:30pm.  Gave him a quick kiss then headed upstairs to get ready for my Zumba class at 7, while he visited with the kids while they ate. I got changed and folded a load of laundry.  Came back downstairs, told Brian and the kids that I was going, they need to put their dishes in the dishwasher, get their folded clothes off my bed, and be in bed reading by 8pm.  I went to Zumba and got in my "me time".  When class was over I talked to my friend in the parking lot for a few or fifteen minutes, got in my car, had 3 texts waiting.  I answered them, stopped by my church on the way home to get a schedule for our ward's women's volleyball and talked to the ladies there for awhile.  Finally I got home around 8:45ish.  All the kids were asleep. 
Do you see where I am going with this?
I had a quick shower, made myself a grilled cheese and sat down to watch Once Upon A Time on Netflix with Brian and enjoy my sandwich. 
About 10pm-ish, our show was over and time for us to go to bed.  I tidied up the house, started the dishwasher, put wood on the fire, brushed my teeth.  AND, went to check Kortnie's blood sugar.
Her BG was 205, not bad, she needed a little bolus of 1.50 Units of insulin to get her down in a better range.  Went to give her the bolus and ....
"Beep, Beep, Beep"
I had totally forgotten about the beep, beep, beep from earlier!
I check the pump and it says something like "failure to deliver, not enough insulin"
Oh crap, there is only 1 unit left and she needs 1.5 units now, and she still needs her basal rate all night long, and she's sound asleep, and I've never tried to do a site change on her while she is sleeping, and I'm not going to try that now either, she'll probably wake up and punch me.
So, I wake her up.
"Kork, come on, we gotta get up, we forgot you were running out of insulin, and we forgot to do a site change"
"oh, can't we do it tomorrow?"
"no baby you are out of insulin, we have to do it now or you'll get sick"
She started getting up, I told my husband who was in bed that Kortnie was coming and we needed to do a site change.  (Our bed is where we do the site changes, always)  I went downstairs to get the insulin out of the fridge.
Kortnie was sitting on my bed half asleep, went into my closet and got the site and cartridge, told Brian to get the site ready, told Kortnie to take off her old site, I filled the cartridge. 
I handed the cartridge and pump to Brian so he could get that all loaded, I put the site in Kortnie.
Click here for a video on how I put the site in, the video is back from Aug 2011 and is a belly site.  I need to make a better one someday.

Put the site in, and, DoH!  I forgot to clean off her skin, she had been kind of sweaty in bed, the site didn't stick!  Now I have to pull that one off, and do another one. 

I'm irritated because my stupidity just wasted a $10 site, she's irritated because even though she is used to putting sites in, they still hurt, and she is tired.  She is crying now, but silent big alligator tears rolling down her face.  Somehow those silent tears make me feel worse than if she was just blubbering and hollering. 

I gave her an alcohol wipe, got a new site out, got it ready to go, waited for the alcohol to dry on her skin.  Put the site in and this time it worked. 

I cleaned up the mess, Brian primed the tube, got Kortnie hooked back up, gave her the 1.5 units of insulin.  I told her to go get back in bed, I went downstairs and put the insulin in the fridge.

Came back up, went into her room and she was in her bed, all bundled up in her blanket, still crying, I gave her a kiss and asked if she was okay.  She said yes, still crying.

"Does the site hurt?"


"Are you just tired"


"Go back to sleep now"


She was still crying, her face looked so sad, I could almost read her thoughts and they seemed to be
"why me, this sucks, I'm tired, stupid diabetes, stinkin' needles and pokes"

She didn't say any of that, but I am pretty sure she was thinking it, I know in that moment, looking at my sad, brave girl I was thinking it. 

Man, what a life!  For me, it was an inconvenience to have forgotten to take care of her pump stuff earlier, but for her it was more than an inconvenience.  To be woken up, to have to go in the bright light, to be stuck not once, but twice because mom messed up the first time.

I felt crappy that in my haste to get out of the house, I had forgotten to remind her and to tell her dad that she needed a new site.

But, she felt even worse about the whole situation. 

Last night, was a D-Mom fail in my book.  Definitely not my first fail, probably not my last fail.  It sucks, but there is always next week, right?

For the record

2:12am check was 98

6:47am check was 102


And she was in a good mood, no mention of the drama of last night.
I wonder if she even remembers.

That is a WIN!

Hah! Diabetes can suck it!

Last nights fail turned into a win this morning.



  1. I knew exactly where you were going...it's easy for me to mean to change a site and get distracted with the busy after school activities and then only remember when it's bedtime or later. It happens! And I agree - the quiet/silent crying is always harder to handle. It tears me up.

  2. that got me all teary eyed! I love you cousin..and thats all I have to say everything else sounds lame!

  3. I would name your blog the dreamland! While Santa knocks climbing shoes, prom dresses store, prom dresses online at our door just once per year, you blog is open the whole year – wow!