Wanderings of my Thoughts

On the way down to The Valley (Phoenix area) last week for Kortnie's Endo visit I had time to think and let my mind wander. It's a 230 mile drive, my husband was driving, the kids were busy with their Ipods and DSi's. We were in an area where there was no radio service so I put in a few CD's, held hubby's hand and took in the scenery.

Then the song "My Sharona" came on. This song always makes me think of a work friend I had a while ago, maybe 15 years ago. I was young, unmarried and not a mom then. She was probably closer to the age I am now. She had a few kids, one of them had Cystic Fibrosis, CF. I can't remember how old he was maybe around 10. Anyways, he was sick and dying. I didn't know much about CF, and I guess I still don't. I did remember having a friend with CF back in maybe 7th grade. I remember my friend coming to work and always having a smile on her face, she'd occasionally tell us what was going on with her son and I remember her taking days off to do things with him. Anything from Dr visits to special outings, a Make A Wish trip and Hospital stays. We all would make sure to pick up her shifts so she could have this time off with her son and family. She made sure to work enough to keep her medical insurance. After a few months of her son being really ill, he passed away. It was sad, and all of us felt really bad for her. Like I mentioned before, I was young, unmarried and childless. I felt sorry for my friend, but I don't think I ever really felt too sympathetic towards her. Not to make myself sound harsh and I knew it must have been an awful thing for her to lose her child and to actually watch him die and know it was coming, but how could I have known the extent of her feelings. Now when I hear that song on the radio I think of her and my heart breaks for her. Now that I have my own kids and I realize how awful it must have been for her and her family.

So, here we were headed to Kortnie's Endo appointment and I'm thinking of my old friend who had a son with a chronic and deadly disease, I remember how upbeat and postive she always seemed and how she seemed to really live life. Could it be that facing the mortality of her son made her more inclined to LIVE? So that got me to thinking about how we live. Now I am not about to compare Kortnie's T1 to CF and I know that Kortnie isn't dieing right now, but I do think that if no cure is found, T1 or Complications becasue of T1 will eventually probably be the thing that Kortnie dies from. I know (hope) that she'll live a long life as long as we continue to take care of her T1 and teach her how to take care of herself. But, here's my question. Has your kids T1 diagnosis made you live life any more adventurous or fuller than you had been? It seems like my family is just plugging along. We don't do anything more adventurous or extreme, and well, I'd like to. Not because I (we) are faced with Kortnie's T1, but because we are all faced with mortality, anything could happen at any time, right?

Brian and I have always talked about possibly moving, we'd love to live close to the water, Washington, Oregon, Northern California, Maine, South Carolina, even Alaska. As we were driving thru the Salt River Canyon I thought to myself that even though it's a dream of mine to live close to the water, I still think it's beautiful here in Arizona and I enjoy living here. I'd like to appreciate it more, explore, take pictures, go hiking, spend time with my family. Live our lives to the fullest each day. And maybe someday, we'll get out dream and be able to live somewhere else, or maybe someday we'll take our kids to visit these places and enjoy the time we have visiting these places.