Kortnie at the 2011 JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes, Tempe Town Lake, Tempe, AZ

Friday, January 27, 2012


Yesterday Kortnie had a 31 at school. It was a friggin' mess!

She checks her BG at 7:55am when I drop her off, then again at 11am when she goes to lunch, then at 2:20pm when I pick her up. Of couse she checks in between if she feels like she needs or wants to.

Yesterday she was 185 when I dropped her off, with IOB to cover the breakfast we had a 7:15 (2 20gc Breakfast Burritos). I wasn't worried. Apparently at lunchtime she was 279, they don't call me unless she's over 300. They bolused for her lunch and the correction, I can't remember the carbs she took yesterday but it was probably a pretty big bolus at least 4.45U for the correction (279-120/60). She goes to lunch 11:10-11:45 (she goes to nurse at 11 for her check and bolus). Then they go to recess 1:15-1:30pm. When they got back from recess Kortnie's friend "K" told the teacher that Kortnie was acting weird and dizzy (thanks for looking out K!). Mrs. H, told K to get Kortnie's checker out of her lunch bag while she got the juice. They got Kortnie to check her BG and 31 popped up, they got her to drink her juice and then called the nurse. They did everything they were supposed to, at this point the nurse is supposed to call me and head down to the classroom to get Kortnie. The nurse went to the classroom to get her and Kortnie wouldn't leave her desk, that's when they called me. No big deal (NBD that she went to Kortnie before calling me, BIG DEAL the 31), really, I have told them to take care of her first and call me second. So she called me, I saw on my caller ID that it was Nurse S and like always my heart jumps into my throat. Usually when she calls me it goes like this...
Me: Hello?
Nurse S: Hi, it's me, nothings wrong!
Me: Oh good, what's up?
Yesterday it was like this
Me: Hello?
Nurse S: Kortnie's 31! (panicky)
Me: Holy Crap, give her juice!
Nurse S: She already had one but she won't walk
Me: Give her more, I'm coming!
Thank goodness I only live 1/2 a mile away, I yelled at my son to get in the car and we drove down, I was probably there in less than 2 minutes, but it seemed like FOREVER, we parked in the parent pick up line and ran to her class, didn't stop to check in at the office (BAD! Really nobody cares, I'm PTO President and everyone knows me, they know I'm not there to steal kids, I have my hands full with the ones I already have, and they know better than to mess with me when I'm in D-Mama mode) Got to her class and she had her head laying on her desk, her face was all white and her eyes were glassy, and she was sobbing. (which I'm sure that crying probably makes you drop even lower, I mean it takes a lot of effort to cry) The teacher and nurse were on their knees trying to get her to drink and she was having none of it, the panicked look on their faces made me wonder if that's how I look too? The other kids were watching a movie, some were watching the show and some were watching Kortnie, they looked a little worried and freaked out too. So I knelt down at her desk and took the juice, of course to my little man Graham, this was nothing, he thought since I was down on the ground it was a fine time to jump on my back, Mrs H took him and found him a place to sit and watch the show. All the while I'm whispering to Kortnie, "please drink the juice", she pushes my hand away, "no, I don't want it, sob, sob, sob, leave me alone, sob, sob, sob" I whisper again, "okay let me check you BG" she says to me, "no, it'll hurt, I don't want to, leave me alone, sob, sob, sob", I tried to pick her up and carry her out, she didn't want that either. Finally I convinced her "okay, take the juice sip it while we're walking and I'll take you home". She agreed, I grabbed her kit and her backpack told the boy to Come On!, and we walked out, Nurse S following right behind. I heard some of the kids call out "Bye, Kortnie, hope you feel better". On the way out to my truck I yelled to the Seceratary Mrs L, "Tell Stasia and Z to walk home!" Kortnie sipped her juice all the way home, kind of slumped over with her head on the window. I checked her before we got out of the truck and she was up to 112 (22 minutes after the 31), she still had IOB, (Insulin On Board which means Insulin still in her bloodstream working), I reduced her basal rate of Insulin by 50% **Why didn't I think if disconnecting her pump or suspending or reducing earlier? Panic I guess** for 30 minutes and by 2:50pm she was 163, the rest of the afternoon her numbers were 152 at 3:44pm (Snack), 96 at 5:29pm (Dinner), 160 at 7;11pm (Snack), 295 at 8:52pm (Bedtime), 265 at 10:27pm (My Bedtime), 177 at 2:31am, and she woke up this morning at 131.

Once I got her home, she lay on the couch for awhile until about 3:30, then she was up and ready to go, feeling better and wanting to go to Girl Scouts. I let her go to Scouts because I knew her friend "K" would be there and she would worry if Kortnie didn't show up. So she went to Scouts and had a good time. D-doesn't keep her down for too long. "K" was sure glad to see her.

When my husband got home last night, I told him all about the 31, Kortnie heard me telling him and she didn't even remember 1/2 of the story, she kept saying, "No, I wasn't!" when I told him about the crying and leave me alone part. She never remembers the details of the bad lows or even the bad high's. Maybe that's good that she doesn't remember her "episodes", but it also worries me because is it something she blocks out, or something that her brain misfires and doesn't record the memory?

I asked her if she felt low before everything went down and she said "maybe a little", then I asked her why she didn't go check her BG when she started feeling low, she just shrugged her shoulders. I know it was because she was having fun and playing and didn't want to stop. Hopefully this will make her think twice before ignoring her next Low feeling. Dang it! Life shouldn't have to be this way for little kids, they should just be able to play and have fun and not worry about Blood Sugars and Juice Boxes, Bolus's and Basals, they shouldn't have to wonder if running around with friends will cause them to pass out, act weird, seizure or...worse. It shouldn't have to be this way for anybody. But it is this way and I guess I'm here to help her thru the episodes, good and bad, and I'm here to teach her to listen to her body, and I'm here to "Keep Calm and Carry On" when everyone else is panicking. FUD!!!!!

Kortnie just got home from school, I asked her if anyone said anything to her about yesterday, she told me that Mrs H and Nurse S told her that they were worried all day yesterday. I guess I should have texted them to tell them all was well, I'll have to remember that next time. What am I saying, there better never ever be a next time.

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Wanderings of my Thoughts

On the way down to The Valley (Phoenix area) last week for Kortnie's Endo visit I had time to think and let my mind wander. It's a 230 mile drive, my husband was driving, the kids were busy with their Ipods and DSi's. We were in an area where there was no radio service so I put in a few CD's, held hubby's hand and took in the scenery.

Then the song "My Sharona" came on. This song always makes me think of a work friend I had a while ago, maybe 15 years ago. I was young, unmarried and not a mom then. She was probably closer to the age I am now. She had a few kids, one of them had Cystic Fibrosis, CF. I can't remember how old he was maybe around 10. Anyways, he was sick and dying. I didn't know much about CF, and I guess I still don't. I did remember having a friend with CF back in maybe 7th grade. I remember my friend coming to work and always having a smile on her face, she'd occasionally tell us what was going on with her son and I remember her taking days off to do things with him. Anything from Dr visits to special outings, a Make A Wish trip and Hospital stays. We all would make sure to pick up her shifts so she could have this time off with her son and family. She made sure to work enough to keep her medical insurance. After a few months of her son being really ill, he passed away. It was sad, and all of us felt really bad for her. Like I mentioned before, I was young, unmarried and childless. I felt sorry for my friend, but I don't think I ever really felt too sympathetic towards her. Not to make myself sound harsh and I knew it must have been an awful thing for her to lose her child and to actually watch him die and know it was coming, but how could I have known the extent of her feelings. Now when I hear that song on the radio I think of her and my heart breaks for her. Now that I have my own kids and I realize how awful it must have been for her and her family.

So, here we were headed to Kortnie's Endo appointment and I'm thinking of my old friend who had a son with a chronic and deadly disease, I remember how upbeat and postive she always seemed and how she seemed to really live life. Could it be that facing the mortality of her son made her more inclined to LIVE? So that got me to thinking about how we live. Now I am not about to compare Kortnie's T1 to CF and I know that Kortnie isn't dieing right now, but I do think that if no cure is found, T1 or Complications becasue of T1 will eventually probably be the thing that Kortnie dies from. I know (hope) that she'll live a long life as long as we continue to take care of her T1 and teach her how to take care of herself. But, here's my question. Has your kids T1 diagnosis made you live life any more adventurous or fuller than you had been? It seems like my family is just plugging along. We don't do anything more adventurous or extreme, and well, I'd like to. Not because I (we) are faced with Kortnie's T1, but because we are all faced with mortality, anything could happen at any time, right?

Brian and I have always talked about possibly moving, we'd love to live close to the water, Washington, Oregon, Northern California, Maine, South Carolina, even Alaska. As we were driving thru the Salt River Canyon I thought to myself that even though it's a dream of mine to live close to the water, I still think it's beautiful here in Arizona and I enjoy living here. I'd like to appreciate it more, explore, take pictures, go hiking, spend time with my family. Live our lives to the fullest each day. And maybe someday, we'll get out dream and be able to live somewhere else, or maybe someday we'll take our kids to visit these places and enjoy the time we have visiting these places.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012


For more info on the BlackOut go here http://sopastrike.com/

To Sign the Petition go here https://www.google.com/landing/takeaction/

Monday, January 16, 2012

Zumbathon for JDRF

My friend Sandy is a Zumba and ZumbaAtomic instructer here where we live. She also has a nephew and brother in law with Type 1 Diabetes. For the past few months we've been trying to get a Zumbathon organzied to raise money for JDRF. It's finnally happening! I'm so excited to say that we're doing a Zumbathon for JDRF on Saturday Febuary 4th in Show Low, AZ. It's sure to be a fun time and hopefully we'll rasie a good amount of money too. I hope to see a bunch of my local friends there. Let's raise money, have fun and get in some excercise!

Wednesday, January 4, 2012

I Wish I Didn't Have Diabetes

"I Wish I Didn't Have Diabetes" This is what I heard one evening from the backseat while we were on the way home from Grandma's. Kortnie was talking to her sister so I didn't interupt, I just listened in.

You see we went to Grandma's house a week or two before Christmas. Grandma only lives about 45 minutes away so it's a trip we take often. We had a good visit and worked on a craft, played with a cousin and just chatted. At one point Grandma mentioned she had made some fudge. The older daughter got excited and wanted a piece so she went and got the pan of fudge out, meanwhile Kortnie checked her BG, she was running a tad bit high, so I cut all the kids a pretty small piece of fudge and madea guess on the carbs. Anastasia kind of whinned about the small piece of fudge and I told her that Kortnie's BG was high and so everyone was getting a small piece and they didn't need a big piece anyways because we we going to leave and go have dinner soon.

We cleaned up our craft mess and started gathering our stuff to go, at this point Grandma says, "Oh, you need a snack for the ride home, I made caramel corn too!" Oh brother! So she brings out the caramel corn and lets each kid fill up a sandwich baggy full of the stuff. We hop in the truck and start heading home, I look up carmel corn on Calorie King on my phone, I think it told me something like 23 carbs for 1oz. So, I said do EZCARB 23 and eat about a 1/3 of the bag. She asked me how much 1/3 is, so I showed her.

After a few minutes she's done eating, so she zipped up the bag and put it away to save for later. Meanwhile, unknown to me, Anastasia is still munching away at her bag of caramel corn, and that's when I heard it.

Kortnie: I wish I didn't have Diabetes

Stasia: Yeah, it sucks

Kortnie: You're lucky.

Stasia: Why?

Kortnie: Because you get to eat anything you want anytime you want, you don't have to check you blood sugar and have a bolus, you can just keep eating.

Stasia: Yeah, I guess (and she keeps eating)

I didn't say anything, I wanted her to stop eating, but I didn't tell her too, I also want her to make her own decisions. I felt bad for Kortnie and my heart broke for her, but I didn't really say anything to her either. It's good that she aknowledges her feelings and I want her to work them out on her own. Anastasia finished her bag of caramel corn, after we got home and had dinner Kortnie wanted some more of her caramel corn, so we weighed some out and she had it for a bedtime snack. At this point Anastasia thought that since Kortnie still had some, she should share. Kortnie didn't want to, and I told her she didn't have to. Her caramel corn lasted a couple of days and Stasia's was gone in 45 minutes. Even though Diabetes definitly does suck, I think Anastasia learned a little about compassion and saving or rationing. Kortnie spoke her feelings and later on that evening felt a little better about herself.

One more little rant. For Christmas from Brian's grandma (83 years old). Kortnie gets 2 bags (pretty big bags) of sugarfree candy, gummy bears and fruit slices. Anastasia got a $40 gift certificate to JC Penny. What's up with that!? The first year Kortnie was diagnosed this same Grandma bought her a bag of sugar free jellybeans, and we actually liked those, they were 1 carb each (just the same as a regular jelly bean), but they were individually wrapped, tiny little packages. Cute and I could tell her to have 3 of them and it was all good.

Ugh! I guess I should approach her and tell her, but I don't want to upset her, she's the type to get all hurt about it. I'll have to see what I can come up with.

Monday, January 2, 2012

New Year, New DR, New Insurance

It's a new year. I'm excited for the many prospects of it. Kortnie's doctor retired as of Dec 1. I'm pretty excited about it because now I can go ahead and get her a new Doctor. The Dr that retired is the only Pediatric Endocrinologist up here where we live. So now we've found a new Dr in Scottsdale, AZ which is about a 231 mile drive for us. I wasn't a big fan of the old Dr, but he was only 31 miles away and I also kind of worry about having a Dr further away during an emergency. Anyways, this new Dr works in an Endocrinology Center and we're just excited for a new path. His name is Dr Hahnke. Our first appointment is on January 13, it happens to be MLK day and the kids are out of school. My husband is taking off of work and we're all going to go down together. We'll see the Dr, eat at Olive Garden, do some shopping at Sam's Club and then the girls want to go to the mall and spend some of their Christmas money. We are hopefully going to make a fun trip out of it.

Some of the questions I have for this new Dr are...

1. How to really work on her A1C, it's been high in the high 7's and lower 8's since diagnosis.

2. She's had T1D for a little over 2 years now and we've never had any blood work run except for the A1C every 3 months. She should have yearly blood work right?

3. I need to get our prescriptions renewed too. We also have new insurance which started on Dec 1. And the new insurance BCBS the preferred (cheaper) test strips happen to be One Touch which is awesome because they are the kind that link up best with her pump, we can use them in the pump's meter remote. (We're on the Animas Ping) The insurance will let us get 300 a month for a copay of $15. When we were on Medicaid we were allowed 150 AccuCheck's per month for no copay, and then we lost Medicaid on Jan 1, 2011 and I was having to pay full price for test strips, so I resorted to buying them off of ebay. Most of the time the AccuCheck's were the best deal I could get on ebay. I'm excited to be able to use the One Touch's now! Yay! Also, the old Dr only wanted to prescribe 1 bottle of insulin per month to Kortnie and I really think she needs 2, that way I won't have to really try to streth it out, at the end of the month I find myself starting to worry that we'll run out. I was paying $136/month for a bottle of insulin, so I didn't really push to get 2 bottles, that would have doubled our price, but now with the new insurance I an get the 2 bottles for $15 copay each month. Also with the new insurance we'll have to use Liberty Medical for the pump supplies. So I need the new Dr to write new prescriptions for the pump supplies. We did have a lifetime prescription for the pump supplies of at Animas, but now everything is switched up. We do have a $1000 deductible on the pump supplies, after that BCBS will cover 70% of the cost. Again this past year we were paying full price, so I'm excited to get past that $1000 deductible and get the costs of those down.

4. This Dr can do the A1C test with a finger poke in the office, he also does a 3 day CGM, which I am going to ask about.

5. We currently do not have a 504 plan at Kortnie's school. The school however does have a medical agreement type thing with our family. Kortnie's in 2nd grade now and going to 3rd grade next year. However when she goes to 4th grade she will be in a new school with new staff. So my goal is to have her able to do a lot of her diabetes care by the time she goes to the new school which will be Fall of 2013, I will also insist on a 504 plan when she goes to the new school. So I plan on visiting with Dr Hahnke about some of that.

6. I think I'd also like to talk to him about us trying Apidra, possibly over Spring Break when she's out of school for a week, in March. I do need to check with our insurance and see if there would be a cost difference for Apidra though.

7. Kortnie will only do her site in her belly, I want to talk to him about talking to her about other sites and why she should move it around more often.

So, do any of you have any other questions you think I should ask, something, I'm not thinking about? I'm sure I'll come up with a few more between now and then. I really need to start writing these questions down.

This year, I am going to be pro-active, I'm going to start keeping better track of her numbers, basal changes, carb counts, I'm going to really start weighing and measuring and not guessing quite as much. I thought we had a handle on things and we're doing okay, but I want to do better! I also want to work on my fear of letting Kortnie have more independance. She wants to go and do and she doesn't want me hovering. I also need to get out more by myself or with Brian without having to rush back and check on Kortnie or without having to call her every hour or two.

I also am going to work on me this year, I am overweight and tired. I am going to start really working on making healthier choices when shopping, cooking, and eating. Not just for me, but for all of us. I also want to excerise more often. 4 days of 7. I want to spend more time on me, making myself feel good, I want to get dressed and make myself look nice more often. I want to work on getting some of our debt paid off too. I know we aren't going to get on top of it this year, but I want to work on getting it a lot more under control. I also want to blog more often :-) It's a lot, I know, but I'm willing to start chipping away at it.
Happy New Year everyone, what are some of your goals you want to work on? D or not?