Kortnie at the 2011 JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes, Tempe Town Lake, Tempe, AZ

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Dear Diabetes

Dear Diabetes,

On this date, November 8th, 3 years ago in 2009 you came barreling into my daughters life.  Actually, I'm pretty sure you came into her life awhile before that, but it was on this day, 3 years ago that we found out you were here, and here to stay. 
We've fought the good fight for 3 years, we'll keep on fighting forever if we have to.
I will never forget that day, looking down at my little girl so tired and weak, sleeping in her daddy's lap in a church pew, looking like a bag of bones, while I was up on the stand participating in the Primary program.   I will never forget telling my husband, "I'm taking her to the ER, right now" and marveling at the fact that he didn't even try to tell me it would be okay to wait until tomorrow morning when the doctor was in.  I will never forget how she just laid there in that big hospital bed and was too weak to fight off the needle stealing the blood from her arm.  Soon after someone came and told me she had Diabetes, I had to wait a good hour and a half after that to call Brian, he was still at church with no cell phone.  I will never forget the doctors telling me that she was in bad shape and they couldn't keep her at our local hospital, they were afraid she'd go into coma or have a heart attack, they said she had to be flown to Phoenix.  I will never forget them strapping her to a travel gurney and loading her into that helicopter.  Thank the Lord the let me fly down with her, my one and only unforgettable helicopter ride was anything but enjoyable.  I will never forget sitting in the PICU with Kortnie and crying at the site of 7 different tubes of stuff going into her IV. I will always be forever grateful that Brian didn't get there until the next afternoon, by then we were out of the PICU and in a regular room, Kortnie looked so much better, he won't have to live with that frightening image in his head.  I will never forget those 5 days we spent in the hospital, Kortnie, Brian, and I, away from our other kids, missing them like crazy, and scared of how much our lives were changing.  I will never forget the fear, the anger, the fright, the despair, and the confusion I felt. 
 I don't know what Kortnie remembers of that time, because I am afraid to ask her.  She does say that you, dear diabetes, you suck.
3 years with Type 1 Diabetes, Kortnie added 'It sucks!'
The other day, we were at Walmart which is right across the street from the hospital.  A helicopter took off, likely flying someone to Phoenix, Brian and I stood in the parking lot watching that helicopter fly away, I said a prayer for whoever was in there.  I looked at Brian watching that helicopter and he told me, "that makes me sad", I told him it made me sad too.  Every time I hear a helicopter fly over my house, I get scared that something has happened to Kortnie at school and that helicopter is going to pick her up.  I can't shake it, it's been 3 years and I can't shake the fear.
You know what though, dear diabetes, you have changed us, all of us, and maybe, just maybe, some of those changes are okay.  We eat a little healthier, we've met so many wonderful people, we've made friends in real life, and friends in our computers, we've learned so much, we've been able to teach.  Kortnie is strong, really strong, you have made her extra strong.  You have also made her better at math.  You have given us compassion too.   You aren't winning and you never will.  We will continue to fight, to live, and to strive to advocate and teach, and to look for a cure. 
Kortnie and her girls from the Aztec Cabin at D-Camp

Kortnie and Sugar at the JDRF Walk
Kortnie at the JDRF Walk to Cure Diabetes 2012, fundraising for a cure.

Don't get me wrong, I hate you, and I try not to hate anything, but I really do hate you, I would kick you to the curb, or take you from Kortnie anytime.  I'll keep the stuff you've given us though. 
Today we celebrate, 3 years of kicking your ass.  You still scare me, you still suck, you will still try to take over our lives, but we won't let you, you won't beat us, we'll keep fighting, forever.  You haven't just invaded Kortnie's life, but you've invaded my home, the lives of my family, you mess with one of us, you mess with all of us.  We've made beating you a family affair, with all of us working together, you don't have a chance. 
A 3 year D-Aversary celebration ice cream cone. Yes, she can eat that!
Graham and Stasia say it sucks too.

Watch out diabetes, we've got our eye on you!

Kortnie's Family

Day 8 in the Wego NHBPM, the prompt was Write a letter to your Health.
Kortnie's Diabetes Fact of the day
3 years today, living with Type 1 Diabetes
11,000 finger sticks
1,260 syringe injections
320 site changes
16 doctor visits
14 blood draws
5 days in the hospital
2 eye dialations
1urgent care visit
1 ER visit
1 helicopter ride
All because of Type 1 Diabetes
 That's only 3 years, she is only 8 years old, she needs a cure.




  1. That one made me shed a tear. Never thought about the math part but you're right!