Today's prompt is... How has being a caregiver changed you?
Well, lets see how has being a caregiver changed me? First of all, I've always been a caregiver to all of my children, but caring for a child with a chronic illness is a different ball game I guess.
#1 I ended up leaving my job, so now I am a stay at home mom instead of a working mom. It has been a good change, it was hard at first, but
#2 Being a caregiver has made me more paranoid when it comes to my kids being sick. I used to just be the "kids get sick, its normal, its okay, no need to freak out" mom, but not now. If Kortnie gets sick I am constantly watching her to make sure she doesn't end up in bad shape. If the other kids get sick I am worrying that they are developing T1D or some other auto-immune disease, I am googling (which can be BAD), and I am sneaking into their rooms while they are sleeping and poking their fingers to test their blood sugar too. My husband is always telling me, "Stop Googling!" and my kids are always saying "I don't have Diabetes!"
#3 I think I have become a little more patient, well maybe not, LOL, with my kids I am more patient, with the insurance company, not so much!
#4 I have become a lot more scatterbrained, thinking about carbs, exercise, weather, hormones, growth spurts, illness, blah, blah, blah, all of the time, makes my brain a bit fuzzy
#5 I am so tired all of the time, tired equals unsexy...you know where I'm going with this?
That's what I can think of now, and specifically I don't know if it's all Type 1 Diabetes fault that I have changed. People change over time, sometimes change is good, sometimes it isn't. It was always my goal to be a stay at home mom, so that change is good. I am happier being home with my kids, but I miss going to a job sometimes too. I tired of being tired, I am tired of feeling like I miss my husband, I am tired of life that seems to just be plugging along. I think I need a new change now, I'm just not sure where to find it.
Today's prompt is a loaded one and I'm just not ready to really think about it and delve into it right now.
Overall, life is good, we have many things to be thankful for. We have a home, a job, great kids, the medicine we need, insurance, a wonderful family, great friends and community. There are things that we want of course, there are changes that we could make to be happier of course, we're always working on those, isn't everyone?
I, too, love being a stay at home home but I do miss adult conversation too.
ReplyDeleteHang in there, just remember the only one that can take the step to change is you...and knowing where to go or what to change.. lets pray about it : )
love you cousin!
I might be a SAHM, and I might not. I think that ultimately, Avi will decide that one for me. My friends and I were talking about WebMD last night and we decided that it pretty much just tells you that you're dying, no matter what is wrong with you.
ReplyDeleteI've done both working and staying at home, I like both. When I worked full-time at Walmart I hated being away from my kids that much, but when I worked part-time at the airport and had more flexible scheduales I loved working. I love being at home now too though, but the work I put in for PTO and babysitting kind of makes me feel like a working mom still.
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